I vomited a lot into the toilet. Flush. Mostly down the drain but not all. Some in my long matted hair. Some on my T-shirt and more on the floor. Ew.
"Can I have something for this?" I plead.
I have never treated anyone so kindly. "Please?" I even add after some deliberation.
"No. Of course not." They say.
They treat me like a fucking drug addict. How dare they.
Rehab sucks fat dick. I begin to think to myself, but I am interrupted because I retch again and must flush again. Ew.
I'm wasting all my gallbladder's hard fucking work because there isn't a trace of food left in my body. This must be really bad for my enamel and oesophagus.
"Can I go outside?" I don't even add the please this time. I have never treated anyone so rude.
"Yes. Of course." They say.
The cold hits me before the white flakes do. It snows. I've never seen snow before.
But today of all days it is snowing.
I think to myself. How pretty. As I break my neck looking upwards to feel it fall on my face.
I am shivering and it's not the withdrawals but it's the cold and that's nice.
In the yard is a pool that is almost completely frozen over with a very thin layer of ice.
Sploosh. I jump in and am enveloped by frozen uncaring water that washes the weight of the world off my shoulders.
No more shoulder massage. Just more shivering.
I surface and my broken neck fixes itself upwards and backwards once more. I don't feel the snow fall on my face but I know it is.
It's snowing today. Today of all days. I think.
It's snowing.