Ashton lies next to me as I prep my kit for my next shot. Needle, alcohol wipes, rubber glove, tupperware, cotton. All strewn on my side of the bed. Skin against skin. He pushes his body against my ass and back. Warm flesh, and not yet sticky from sweat.
"Fuck you feel good."
"Yea?"
"You feel so fucking good against me."
Ashton's skin feels so nice against mine. I absent-mindedly continue my usual ritual as he fondles my breast. I crack a single pill from a blister and hear it clatter against the flaking plastic base of the tupperware container. It gets ground fine into powder. Ashton lets go of my nipple, pinching it as he does. Whince.
"Cute."
He reaches across and passes me one of the little plastic saline containers that he loves to collect. I empty it into my tupperware vessel and let myself be mesmerised by the swirling alchemical pot of euphoria, before my eyes instead become captured by Ashton's face.
It's adorned with two hazel brown eyes tickled by overly long eyelashes, glistening alongside the hints of metal piercings that penetrate his lips and protrude from either side of his septum. Despite losing weight, Ashton's cheeks have remained beautifully full, and I can feel my gaunt face and sharp features carve into his pretty softness every time we kiss, like a whaler carves into blubber.
I uncap the needle and drop the orange top to the side. Bounce. Once. Twice. Then it rolls down the side of the bed and i tell myself I'll get it when I finish, but in 5 minutes I'll forget and it won't be found until the next tenants move in. Long after we've left.
I aspirate my beautiful tupperware abscess as Ashton looks on in quiet awe. Or maybe concern? Horror? I can't tell. Whatever emotion(s) he feels seeing how beautiful I am in my own destruction. His hands follow the beauty he sees and traces down my body to my dick. A drop of saliva coating his fingers moistens me.
"Is that nice?"
I imagine my brain flooding with endorphins very soon.
"Yea. Very."
He helps me fashion a janky tourniquet with the rubber glove while I attempt to find a vein, ultimately opting for one a small length down my forearm that seems to be, as of yet, a miraculously untapped asset for a frequent IV user. Ashton tightens the glove slightly too much. My arm goes numb and the tips of my fingers begin to tingle. I'm too in love to care though. Both with him, and with the drugs.
I take one last look at the cloudy pleasure in the needle and realise Ashton is sitting inside the syringe now. He seems unbothered, continuing to lightly stroke the tip of my dick with two fingers. I turn my neck and push my lips into his, and wrap them around his tongue, feeling it explore the all-too-familiar cavity it loves.
I avert my eyes from his, which are closed anyway, and look towards the lonely vein, lightly bulging in my forearm. My lips don't follow. They're bound to Ashton's tongue as it continues mapping out the recesses of my teeth and gums.
Despite my hazy carelessness and the disinterested kiss I share with Ashton, I find it easy to stick myself. Sharp scratch. Light burn. I lied. It took two tries, but finally, flashback. Success. The needle pierces skin and vessel and kisses warm blood.
Teeth and tongue disentangle. I escape from the kiss, tug the syringe plunger and watch a warm stream of fluid, a deep red, puff into the syringe, momentarily dousing Ashton in my blood, before I push down and force this new mixture of blood, drugs and boyfriend into my body.
He floods through my veins. His pointed angel bites burn quickly up my arm, but I think he realises it hurts, because he follows it with a rush of soft kisses that remind me he loves me. Ashton holds me in his arms, cooing softly in my ear, as I drift off into peaceful nods, and I hold him in my veins.
I slump my body into his. Make believe visions of us going to highschool together dance across the back of my mind. The needle jammed into my arm slips out and pooling blood spurts out. Onto my bed. Onto Ashton. He helps undo the tourniquet that should have been removed a while ago, before returning once again to patrolling the vasculature of my body.
"I... Love... You..."